Back in the 70’s when I had an abortion, the nurse at the facility assured me that no one ever needed to know about it. It would be a thing in the past, the remedy to a mistake, to bad timing, whatever I wanted it to be—but I had to report it to no one. Later, I wondered if it was necessary to put it down when I was doing my paperwork as a pregnant OB/GYN patient.
Times have changed. In 2015, three women reacting to the possibility of Congress defunding Planned Parenthood began a social media campaign named “Shout Your Abortion.” According to their website, shoutyourabortion.com, this is a “decentralized network of individuals talking about abortion on our own terms and creating space for others to do the same, in art, media, and at community events all over the country.”
“Abortion is normal,” they say. “Our stories are ours to tell. This is not a debate.” Yet, when I have read the stories on their website, I sense deep shame and regret, felt at the time of abortion and even still. Some say they still haven’t told their loved ones.
Simply telling our stories isn’t the anecdote to shame. The Bible is clear that wickedness or sin brings about shame (Proverbs 13:5). None of us likes to flaunt our sin. Natural human instinct is to hide it in shame. Even when we justify it, we can never completely cover our shame. Hope, though, is different. Hope in Jesus Christ, that is. As Romans 5:5 says, “Hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.”
Only in Christ alone are we able to truly find the hope that brings us from shame to joy—from secrecy to shine in the spotlight of God’s merciful glory. Thanks be to God that He has raised up so many servants to help share this hope with women and men who have at some point in their lives, chosen abortion.
“ Simply telling our stories isn’t the anecdote to shame. ”
This blog will list some of those available servants and their services. While this blog is read primarily by Christians, statistics give a compelling account that abortion always has and continues to take place in the church. In secret. An article from June 2018 on the website of Focus on the Family outlines these figures.
“Many women with unplanned pregnancies go silently from the church pew to the abortion clinic, convinced the church would gossip rather than help, a 2015 study shows. More than four in 10 women who have had an abortion were churchgoers when they ended a pregnancy, researchers found in a survey sponsored by Care Net, a nonprofit organization supporting more than 1,100 pregnancy centers across North America….
“…Only 7 percent of women discussed their abortion decision with anyone at church. Three-fourths (76 percent) say the church had no influence on their decision to terminate a pregnancy…
- Two-thirds (65 percent) say church members judge single women who are pregnant.
- A majority (54 percent) think churches oversimplify decisions about pregnancy options.
- Fewer than half (41 percent) believe churches are prepared to help with decisions about unwanted pregnancies.
- Only three in 10 think churches give accurate advice about pregnancy options.”
“ Many women with unplanned pregnancies go silently from the church pew to the abortion clinic, convinced the church would gossip rather than help, a 2015 study shows. ”
Recognizing that both women and men who have been involved in abortions are also our brothers and sisters in Christ is a good first step. Understanding what they have experienced since is also important. Post Abortion Stress Syndrome (PASS) is a term that has evolved as research into the after-effects of abortion has increased. It has seeped into the political discussion of the abortion issue as well, rejected or ignored by the pro-choice side and validated by the pro-life side. Nevertheless, both sides recognize symptoms that occur to almost every woman who has experienced an abortion to rare symptoms that occur only in some.
Susanne Babbel MFT, PhD, wrote about these in an article published in Psychology Today in 2010. The main symptoms that she describes include guilt, anxiety, numbness, depression, flashbacks and suicidal thoughts, and they may only occur with some women. Babbel acknowledges that more often an abortion experience will trigger feelings of sadness, grief, and regret.
In an article published on healthline.com in June of 2020, the same symptoms and a few more are listed. These include: Tearfulness; mood changes such as anger, sadness, grief, and numbness; depression; guilt; regret; denial; flashbacks; nightmares and disrupted sleep; thoughts of suicide; substance abuse; relationship issues; decreased self-esteem; fear of future pregnancy.
(Ongoing academic research continues to substantiate the validity of these symptoms. I have sat through readings of findings by very qualified researchers who conduct scientific studies. However, we must remember that as in all political battles, the findings can be manipulated and distorted by the side with the most money and power, and the side that stands to lose money if their desired outcome is not met. That’s not what this article is about, though, so I will not say more.)
“ Post Abortion Stress Syndrome (PASS) is a term that has evolved as research into the after-effects of abortion has increased. ”
Certainly, it is time to recognize that many church members may still be struggling with their decision to abort, and to serve them with care and hope. If any reader may fall into this category, please look into these resources which are readily available. Even if you don’t know anyone who has had an abortion, take a look at the resources listed and consider if ministering to these women and men is something God might be calling you to do. Perhaps you have an abortion in your past, but are familiar with the following resources because you have used them and have experienced God’s kind forgiveness. Why not share your story and help others through these ministries?
Here are links to videos. They are related to specific local programs but are still worth looking into.
https://piedmontwomenscenter.org/child-loss-support/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hJFHRhH28d0
As you watched the videos, you heard them mention the workbook Forgiven and Set Free. Although there are others on the market, this is probably the first or one of the first, and I have found it is best suited for Christian women who trust the truth of scripture. There is also a corresponding book for men.
“ It is time to recognize that many church members may still be struggling with their decision to abort, and to serve them with care and hope. ”
Forgiven and Set Free was originally published by Baker Books in 1996 and is written by Linda Cochrane, who had an abortion in her younger years. I highly recommend this book. It was the first resource I used years after my abortion; and even though I had come to a place of repentance and healing, working through this book brought me to a further place of spiritual understanding and growth. Cochrane applies the use of scripture and brings it to bear on the reader’s heart. It is impossible to work through this book without examining one’s heart and motives, and it beautifully points the reader to discover true forgiveness.
As you may have noticed in the videos, this book is also used in abortion recovery groups. Most pregnancy resource centers have post abortion care groups, and many utilize this book. Please check with your local pregnancy resource center to find out more information about becoming part of such a group. If there are several women in a congregation who wish to form a recovery group, this would be an excellent curriculum to use.
Finally, there are ministries that offer retreats to those still dealing with the effects of an abortion. Below are links to find out more about those.
No matter how many years it has been, it is not too late to be set free from the guilt and shame of an abortion. I pray that God will use the words and suggestions of this blog to bring total healing to readers.
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